God Grant Me Serenity—Deleted Scene from All Our Broken Pieces

This deleted scene is from All Our Broken Pieces. This is how I originally wrote the scene that comes right after Ginny and Alex fight, she asks him to leave, and then trashes her room. I’ll let y’all read it first and then I’ll talk about the problems with it.

God Grant Me Serenity

I fell asleep without a blanket, with my arms banded around myself, curled into a fetal position.

It was nearly midnight when my phone rang. I fumbled to find it in the chaos and saw “Alex” as the caller. A breath hissed through my teeth and I checked myself, weighing my emotional state to determine if I could handle a conversation with him. Then I answered. I was still upset and confused, but if Alex was willing to reach out after what I’d put him through, then I couldn’t ignore it. 

“Hello?”

“Can you meet me?” His voice was strained and I sat up straight, instantly on alert.

“Of course. What’s wrong?” 

“I’m standing outside a liquor store and I need a reason not to go in.”

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Top 10 Bookish Pet Peeves

1. Overuse of exclamation points!!!!!!!

This one grates on my nerves. I am of the opinion that unless a character is actually shouting, there’s no need for exclamation points.

2. Redundant physical description of characters, especially when expounding on their “hotness.”

An author can mention that adorable dimple maybe twice before I start to roll my eyes. Attraction is good. Romantic tension is good. But I really want these character to be attracted to each other for reasons OTHER THAN their physical attributes.

3. When internal thoughts interrupt a conversation for so long that I lose track of the conversation.

If characters are truly in the middle of a conversation, there’s only so much free space they have in their brain. You can’t have a three-page inner dialogue and expect us to believe that all happened in the two seconds it took you to answer a question.

4. When an entire plot is centered on a misunderstanding that a five minute conversation could solve.

I’ll buy into a misunderstanding for MAYBE a fourth of a book, then I’m just screaming in my head, “HAVE THE CONVERSATION!” This is especially problematic in books where you have both points of view and thus the reader KNOWS that there is no good reason for this conflict to go on other than stubbornness.

5. Unnecessary dual POV, especially when it repeats the same scene but from the other person’s perspective.

Multiple points of view can absolutely be done right. But when they’re not…

I wrote an entire blog post dedicated to this subject, in case you care.

6. When the heroine and her best friend are the only reasonable women in the book and all others are cliche mean girls, vapid, or self centered.

Not every popular girl is mean. Not every ex-girlfriend of your love interest is a witch. Your main character should not be the only down-to-earth, thoughtful girl around. That’s insulting.

7. Unhealthy relationships made out to look like swoon-worthy romantic relationships.

I’m lookin’ at you, Twilight. There’s a lot I still love about those books, but Edward removing Bella’s car battery to prevent her from doing something that she wants to do is WAY not okay. Also, him watching her sleep without her knowing…

8. When the story is too big or too small for the book length.

I don’t need to read about a character’s every day activities. I get that they live a normal life a lot of the time. Please skip that part and just tell me the interesting stuff.

And when you are telling the interesting stuff, don’t go too fast! Interesting action happens because of complicated situation that you should explain so that we can all ride the adventure along with the characters in full support of what they’re doing.

9. When a character has too-stupid-to-live syndrome.

There’s this scene in the first season of 24 where the main guy rescues his wife and daughter and they’re waiting for a helicopter to pick them up. They’re crouched behind something and the daughter wants to go out into the open. Dad says no, it’s dangerous. Daughter (who has spent the last 12 hours being held captive) thinks he’s being dumb and goes out into the open anyway.

Really? Really, what’s-your-face? You’ve been terrorized by bad guys for the last however many hours and you don’t think this situation warrants just a smidge of caution??

10. When a hero and heroine fight and fight and fight, then kiss, then fight and fight and fight, and then supposedly live happily ever after.

I’m guessing this opinion is less universal than a lot of the others, but I just can’t get on board with a couple who agree to love each other even while it seems they can’t stand each other. That’s probably because I’m allergic to contention and I can’t handle it and it makes me cry when I encounter it in real life.

It’s just not my cup of tea.

So there you go. A random list, in no particular order, of the things that turn me off when I’m reading. What do you think? Agree? Disagree? What are your pet peeves?

Deleted Scene from IF I COULD STAY

This deleted scene from If I Could Stay was written before I decided to have Leila leave her money and IDs in the trunk of her car. Instead, I simply had her lose them while she was with Jack, but she didn’t realize it until after he’d dropped her off at the bus station. She had to track him down to get it back.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It took me a while to track down the police station, but once I got reliable directions, which involved a surprising number of tree street names, it wasn’t hard to find. It was on Chestnut street, just past Pamela’s Hair Styling. I walked along the sidewalk and studied the parking lot, but Jack’s truck wasn’t there. He likely wasn’t on shift yet, since he had been driving in the early hours of the morning…

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Springback Cover Reveal

I’m so excited to post this cover reveal! Most of you have heard me talk about my awesome editor, Jana Miller. She also happens to be my sister, and in a few weeks she will be an author! In addition to being an amazing editor, she’s also a fantastic writer and has finished her first YA novel about time manipulation. It’s such a fun read.

Continue reading

Join Me On Patreon

Hey, friends!

I’m trying something new. It’s a new forum, a new way to get your feedback, and a new way to involve my readers in the process. So if you’re interested in seeing a lot more of the nitty gritty of writing and being an indie author, check out my introductory video over on Patreon. We’re going to have some fun.

Want to help me write a book? Because that’s an option now. 🙂 Want to receive early copies of my books before they even go up for pre-order. That’s an option too.

Give it a look. See what you think. And join me if you’d like to participate!

https://www.patreon.com/annetteklarsen

 

 

 

It’s a YES!

Keeping Kinley has been selected for publication by Kindle Press!

See? It’s right there at the top of the KindleScout site. Doesn’t it look great there?

I’ve already updated my files, so now I’m waiting on the Kindle Press team to review it and offer any suggestions. If I’m lucky, the process will go quickly, but I really don’t know how long it will take, so please bear with me. As soon as I know anything about pre-order or publication dates, I’ll be shouting it from the rooftops.

Finally! A scene from James’ point of view

Now that Saving Marilee has been out for more than a year, I finally got around to writing a scene from James’ point of view. It’s the scene of their first meeting, and if you’d like to see it, please go sign up for my newsletter. That will give you access to all of my extra content. Those of you who have already signed up should have an email in your inbox with the link.

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My OTHER Work in Progress

I’m not one to work on multiple projects at once. I’d rather not split my focus, but for this very special project I made an exception. I’ve been working on this for about four and a half months now, and I’ll be working on it for another four and a half.

Whether this project will center around a hero or a heroine, I don’t yet know, but I’ll let you know when that verdict is in.

This is #5 for us. Wish me luck!

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